The Best Gift
by ronniekins77
Summary: Neela thinks about Ray on Christmas. Missing moment from City of Mercy.


**A/N:** Written in Dec. of 2006. Missing Moment from _City of Mercy_. Prompt; Peppermint Shnapps.

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Neela rubbed her eyes wearily as she set the telephone back in its holder and leaned back in the chair she was sitting in. She was so bloody tired. Tired of being caught between so many different feelings for the men in her life; tired of feeling constantly alone even though these men were constantly vying for her attention; tired of feeling like a manipulative bitch because she couldn't make up her mind about them. She had resolutely decided to spend Christmas by herself, without them, because they were driving her mad.

She had just finished talking on the phone with her mother and father, but they had done nothing to cheer her up. She hadn't told them about Tony or Ray, of course, but her mother had brought up Michael in some attempt to find out how Neela was dealing with his death. She had gone quiet until her mother had sense to change the subject. She had, to say that they were waiting for another check for her brother's tuition. Neela had been quite relieved to say good-bye to her mother.

And yet she ached to talk to someone, to be with someone right now. Being by herself would undoubtedly lead to vast amounts of alcohol and a lot of crying as she reflected on her husband and her current overwhelming dillemma regarding Ray and Tony. She wrung her fingers together nervously and tapped her foot against the floor as she shifted in her chair and buried her head in her hands. Sighing deeply, she looked up and glanced at the telephone.

She debated for a matter of minutes who she should call: Abby, Tony, or Ray? Abby was spending the holiday with Luka, and it was Joe's first Christmas...did she really want to interrupt that precious time to moan about her love life? Tony was with Meg and Sarah. He had offered to spend the night with her and Neela had been flattered, but declined. She liked Tony, but more and more she found herself feeling that they were taking this too fast and that she was committing some kind of horrible wrong because he was still involved with someone. He might not think so, but he was. And Ray...was probably spending the holiday with Katey. She had probably cooked for him, and, knowing Katey to be someone very open about her sexuality, was probably scantily clad in Christmas underwear of some kind, snogging Ray under the mistletoe...

Abruptly, Neela stood up, trying to knock the image out of her head. Her throat was suddenly very dry and she itched for something alcoholic...anything. She knew deep down that drinking was probably not the answer to her problems and that the way she was drinking these days was very Abby-esque, but just the thought of Ray being with Katey was enough to make her want to. _God_, she thought, searching the kitchen for a beer, wine, anything, _it's like he's gotten himself another Zoe. Except now she's legal._

Finding nothing in the refridgerator that would succeed in drowning her sorrows, she swore and scratched her head. She needed something to get her mind off of her thoughts...off of all these stupid men. She walked back into the living room, sat down on the couch with a sigh, and picked up the remote. Flicking on the TV, she ran through the channels, trying to find something to watch. Unfortunately all that was on were Christmas specials...not that she minded, even though she was Sikh, not Christian...but cartoons of happy children and red-nosed reindeer did nothing to lighten her mood. Besides, the screen of her TV was blurred around the edges - Ray was clearly not a cable-man.

...and there she was again, thinking about him again. Blast it all.

Irritatedly, she turned off the TV and stared blankly at the black screen for a few moments before leaning over to the coffee table and retrieving a carefully wrapped gift from it. She had set all the Christmas gifts she had gotten this year here, with every intent of opening them on Christmas, but her mind was all over the place and she was on-edge, fidgety, and needed to _do_ something, so now was as good a time as any to open them.

This first gift was from Abby; a pair of red lace panties and bra, with a note attached: _I'm sure Gates will love you in these._ Instead of smiling, Neela shoved the underwear back into the box as her thoughts turned back to Katey and what underwear she might be wearing and what...activities she and Ray were participating in. Hell, perhaps Gates and Meg were even having sex right now; she couldn't read Tony at all, and even though he constantly said there was nothing happening between him and Meg anymore, Neela had her doubts.

Her hands naturally reached for Tony's present next. Tearing the paper slowly, she wondered what he had gotten her. Something tactless? Something silly? Something that she would love? Whatever it was, it was certainly big - the box she was unwrapping was rather huge. She found out quickly that Tony was one of those people who hid a box inside of a box and then another box inside of that one...until finally her eyes rested on her present and she found herself feeling a mixture of happy and disappointed emotion.

He had gotten her a bottle of Peppermint Schnapps.

While this would certainly help her get through the dreadful evening...alcohol? He had gotten her alcohol? _Seriously?_ Half thinking it was a joke of some kind, Neela searched the many boxes for a sign of another present, but there was none. Fighting away her immense dissatisfaction, Neela opened the presents from her parents and from (surprisingly) Frank and Morris until she could no longer the ignore the last present on the table.

Neela had seen Ray wrap presents before; last year, he had fought an ongoing battle with Scotch tape and trying to wrap his presents just so. This had earned a laugh from Neela when she noticed that he had somehow gotten a blue bow stuck in his messy hair. Looking at the gift in front of her, however, she noted that his wrapping skills had improved. With a slight scowl, she wondered if Katey had helped him hone his skills, but blinked away the thought.

She reached for the gift a little hesitantly. Ray had never gotten her a present before. Even last year when they were roommates, they had agreed not to buy anything for one another, as they were both short on money. The only thing he had done for her that Christmas was to shoot a large white snowball at her back when she wasn't looking, payback, he stated, for the previous year. But here it was, a present, wrapped neatly in red paper and secured with white ribbon.

Neela unwrapped this gift even slower than she had unwrapped Tony's, her heart pounding fiercely in her chest. Time seemed to stand still.

And then she exhaled loudly, not even realizing that she had been holding her breath.

Ray had given her his t-shirt.

His _t-shirt_, the one Neela had loved to sleep in, the one that she had refused to take as she had moved out. She picked it up and unfolded it, smiling slightly at the sight of it. It had been one of Ray's favorites, a black, sleeveless shirt with crossbones on the front of it. Pressing it against her nose, she inhaled deeply, the distant smells of cologne, hair gel, brown sugar - for some reason he had always smelled a bit like brown sugar - and something so wonderfully uniquely _Ray_ all became familiar again as they rushed back to her. The sensation overpowered her a bit and a feeling of warmth spread through her skin, as if she was actually touching and smelling Ray himself, as if he were right next to her and always would be.

Neela tugged off the sweater she was wearing and pulled the shirt over her head, not caring if it was bloody cold outside. It was the best gift she had ever gotten.

And with a rush of courage that she hadn't known existed inside her without the helping hand of liquor, Neela jumped off the couch and raced over to the telephone, dialing the number to his apartment, the same apartment that had once been hers too. Her heart was still beating furiously and she rather thought that her cheeks were tinged red and the phone shook in her hands, but none of that mattered at the moment.

Something inside of her sunk a bit when Ray didn't pick up the phone. Neela bit down on her lip sharply, knowing he was at Katey's place. But even that didn't matter, because she had to tell him.

"Hey, you've reached Ray and Neela's," his machine said into her ear. "We're probably at the hospital, but leave a message and we'll call you back."

She heard the beeping sound demanding that she speak, and she took a deep breath and licked her lips nervously. "Hi, Ray, it's me." She paused. "I guess you're not there right now, but I just wanted to call and check in, you know."

She fingered the bottom of the t-shirt idly, twisting it and then releasing it, then twisting it again.

"And I just - I just wanted you to know - that, even if this doesn't change anything between us, that you, well...you're the best friend I've ever had, too."

Something about saying the words aloud evoked something inside of her, and Neela was startled to feel tears had sprung up in her eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Ray," she finished, her voice small and quivering slightly, and she hung up the phone.


End file.
